DNR-JTI: Take 2

Do Not Reply - Just Take It: Take 2.

Dear Millienial Gen X-er Person Born Way After Me,
I know you can navigate between Email, Text and Twitter like they are the same beast, but I cannot. If you email me on the day I am checking my texts, you are going to have to wait. Consider the fleeting existence of the stamp. Like on an envelope. Made of paper. I cannot always tweet and text and email AND check the Facebook all on the same day. That's just way too much communication. Please join me and let's chop wood and haul water and remember what it is like to Be Present With Each Other.
Love,
Me


Dear Trick-or-Treater,
I am sorry that I am No Fun. I affirm your creative costume. In the rain.
Love,
Me


Dear Female Friend Who Sells Products To Bring Out My Inner Beauty,
Thank you so much for inviting me to your party. My skin definitely could use it. However I am the worst client ever because I habitually forget to wash my face. Also, I could never promote or sell your product because I would rather buy and donate and go into debt than ask anyone for anything I am afraid they may or may not want. I want to gift everything, like, all of your samples. I still think you are awesome.
Love,
Me


Dear Unidentified Smell In My House,
Please go away. While I sleep tonight. As in, immediately.
My husband thinks that you are here because we currently have no pets. I think you are here because no one will help me clean (as in, load the dishwasher, take out the trash, do the laundry and then put it away). I am open to discussion and compromise. In the meantime, just go away.
Love,
Me