Friday, April 04, 2014

Spring Break 2014

We did it, y'all.

We went camping for 3 nights and 4 days for Spring Break. It's been two years in the making and I would like to blame Katie and Kenneth Hill, Cathy and John Brown, Karyl and Becky Anderson, Catherine Owens, Stacy Barnett, Annette Compton, and Heather Borden for turning us into That Family.

We took the bikes...

And chairs...


The dog...(and cat)...


Friends...


Learned to ride our bikes without training wheels...


Propped up our awning...


Rode in many circles, played on the playground, fished, played basketball, found a dead animal, discovered new trails...


Watched the occasional movie in a neighbor's camper...



Discovered new recipes...no food wasted...


Had a pillow fight...


And overall, learned a lot:


I can survive in a tent in 40'degree weather with no heater.  So can my kids. (from the tent camper in the group).

It takes at least 3 shampoos to get the campfire smell out of your hair.

I have a bottle of expired Clamato juice in my pantry.  It actually has a picture of a clam next to the tomato. 

Friends at red lights can smell the campfire aroma on you with the windows down as you try to explain why you look like hell.

Cats can camp. 

I'll have crunched up leaves in my house forever.

Underwear can be turned inside out. No need to change.

I now want a camper type unit for future trips.  Big gurl can't take the summer heat in a tent. 

I also learned that it takes hours to send a text from camper to camper

The Bordens got the short end of the stick by having the best camper ever.

The Preveauxs are hard core in a tent.

When in doubt or fear, yell, "CHAD!!!!!"

Max, Pepper and Sugar are not friends. But Sheldon loves all. (these are all pets)

Deerlick is next. Gunter Hill bathrooms were a little aromatic.

Mikes Hard Lemonade is awesome. Even without the clam sauce. I mean, clamato.

We need to bring firewood next time. Chad and Neal hooked us up.

Brian makes great omelettes and says great blessings.

Even a possessed pug named Max can't make Brian fire Liz.

Henry likes to do impersonations and skid into a landing.

Emma and Svea can even bring "Frozen" settings to "Minecraft."

Camping makes you exhausted.

"Let It Go" is the official theme song of Spring Break 2014

Kelly likes clamato juice.

Max the dog is a heater.

Sugar loves her leash, and being petted, and swimming, but NOT Max, the other dog.

Sheldon is basically the coolest cat ever.

Henry likes basketball. Like 20 hours a day.

Dead BeaverCoon's are a boys dream come true.

Potatoes last forever and can be used in several meals.

Trisa LOVES baked apples and the Dutch oven.

There may be a dead body in the women's restroom.

Astrovans do NOT belong at campsites. And bleach is scary.

Liz is apparently the Grandmother of the group, at age 35.

Sidewalk chalk can make a pretty awesome raceway.

3 bags of clothes are not necessary, most of us didn't even change our underwear.

Just yell "Car."

Popsicles are good for bad breath, according to Corinne.

Brian should actually be a camper salesmen.

It was good for our kids.


It was good for the adults.



Amen, Spring Break.

My Sister

Look at how beautiful my sister is:


Her father-in-law took this picture and I just love it.

In the afternoons around 4pm, I used to get so excited about the next morning's coffee taste.  
Then we, in our house, kinda tried to go off caffeine for a bit ((#^*$&*$%).
I didn't miss the coffee, I missed missing something. 
It was so sad.

My sister and I talk every morning...and sometimes afternoon and evening...and I realized that THAT was what I was looking forward to. 

So decaf was okay. But if she didn't answer the phone, THEN I was stressed.



***I have re-introduced a certain amount of caffeine and I am definitely not as grumpy, but I still request my sister to pick up the phone when I call...at any time.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Guac and Bubbles

My name is Maya and I love a chip.


But not as much as I love guacamole:


Look I'm going in for another dip:


Can't talk now, y'all. Gotta lick this salt and guac and go back in for another dip.


And these bubbles are hilarious!  I can't stop laughing!


Neither can my cousin Corinne!


Best day ever in the driveway!!

Shoot the Hoop, Henry, 2014!

Henry's basketball season is winding to a close, and I finally got some blurry pictures.
Henry's team is in the gray jerseys, and he is #11 with a blue t-shirt under his tank.

In this one, he is in the bottom right of the picture and he had just shot the ball going through the net!!



He's on the far left in this one and he just shot the ball that's at the top of the photo.  I can't remember if it went in. Let's say it did and call it a 3, eh?


He's on defense here with his back to us, left hand reaching out to stop the ball.
We let the guy by and he scored, but that's okay. We're building character here, people.


Um, I think he fouled that dude in this one. Oh well.


Henry taking it down the court for the Diamondbacks!


We have yet to win a game, but I'm feeling really good about tomorrow, y'all.  He has had a great season despite the "no wins" and his parents are totally loud and obnoxious. Saturday mornings are awesome, y'all.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Bernadette, the Angry Cat, and Heather

My friend Cheryl lent me the book Where'd You Go, Bernadette?



I had one of those experiences where I didn't know I was at risk, but while reading that book I realized: This story has UP AND SAVED MY LIFE.

Right before Bernadette, I read Carry On, Warrior on a partial recommendation from my friend Angela (she recommended Glennon's website Momastery and would have recommended the book I feel sure, but I found the book through her blog).
Well that book UP AND SAVED MY LIFE too.



Glennon talks about being a writer and how it is akin to having an angry cat inside of her clawing to get out; there are just all of these ideas!
I get that.
I think I have lots of angry cats.

But I want my angry cats to come out looking like Emptied Gestures by Heather Hansen.
Her angry cats are so smooth and pretty.



I can't stop watching weird, modern, abstract art in motion after those two books and Heather Hansen on You Tube.

Y'all, I don't know what book to read next. The bar is so high in these recent life-saving experiences (again, NOT feeling at risk, just terribly inspired).

Carry on, you warriors, let your angry cats out in Antarctica if you have to.


Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sounds of a Fourth Grade Field Trip, 2014

Kid: Do you know who Bruce Lee is?
Another Kid: Yeah, he's that guy who is always taking his shirt off.


Chaperone:  Do they have wifi on the bus? Surely they do! ESPN is on the TV so they MUST have wifi. Are you getting it on your phone? The wifi??



Kid: If you are a page for the Senate, do they have a laundry room for you to wash your clothes? How do you get home?



Kid: I lost my cookies! I mean, literally! They fell out of my pocket!


Another kid:  If you drink alcohol for 24 hours and then drive a car, you will get a DUI.
(?!?!?)



Kid: If you like it then you better put a ring on it!!


Chaperone:  Where is the BAR?!



Tour Guide: Are there any questions about the tour?
Kid: YES. What TIME is it??




Shout out to Lurleen Wallace, the first and only female governor...so far:



Tour Guide:  Why do you think Jefferson Davis and his wife had separate bedrooms?

Kid: He was so tall his feet would hang off the end of her bed.

Next kid: He snored.

Next kid: They were having problems in their relationship.

Next kid: He had to work all the time.



Fourth graders are their own breed, y'all. You just never know what you are going to hear.
I was proud to collect these comments today, and honored to be a part of this group!

Monday, January 06, 2014

Sometimes, My Life Feels Ridiculous.

Sometimes, my life feels ridiculous.

Then my three-year-old experiences laughing gas at the dentist office and I realize that my life, indeed at times, IS ridiculous.
N2O, y'all.



She was very nervous about the pending dental work, but after a few whiffs of the vanilla-ice-cream-scented gas, she blinked at me, let go of my hand and said, "I am NOT scared."

Then she looked at the hygienist and said, "Hey doctor, can you adjust this hose into my nose?"

Then she cracked up and said, "Mom! Look at my FOOTS!"
I looked down at her feet and she had crossed her ankles. She could not stop laughing.




She was quiet for about 7 seconds.
Then, "I was sick last day. At 38. I was sick at 38. Now I'm 3. I'm not sick. I'm 3." Three fingers in the air waving them around.
The hygienist next to our hygienist thought that one was hilarious. She kept repeating it to her 11-year-old patient who totally did not care.



There were posters on the ceiling of puppies brushing their teeth and of a chimpanzee flossing after every banana. Those really tipped over her giggle box.

Then she pulled her skirt up and bent her knees, waved her fists in the air and started singing, "Wo ho! A donkey kong! Wo ho! A donkey kong!" over and over and over and over. I thought the hygienist was going to fall out of her chair.
I explained to Corinne that this was reason #37,952 that she was not allowed to go to college...or any parties, or even leave the house.



Two silver teeth later, she was not as pleased. She hated biting on the cotton gauze and kept complaining that her cheek was so "thick".
After some screen time and cantaloupe, all was well and she is chomping away on dinner tonight. There are no scheduled trips to the dentist tomorrow, but I feel sure at least part of the day will prove ridiculous.
Bring it. I know where to find the N2O (just in case I need it).