Monday was one of those days that every parent has about once a quarter where, despite all valiant efforts and good-hearted attempts, everything goes wrong.
Henry started a new runny nose and cough over the weekend, so by Monday he and Svea both were rattling. Then Henry started crying fits that only Brian's voice singing Thomas the Tank Engine songs could calm down. Then, during one fit, I saw him tug on his right ear ONCE. Once is enough to indicate a possible ear infection, right?
So I was in the parking lot of the grocery store when he tugged that ear and I called the doctor on the cell phone. They could fit me in in 30 minutes, so I did a U-turn explaining to Henry that though I promised him the trip to the store to get apple juice (since that's what calmed his screaming to just crying), we were heading to the doctor to get better. he looked out the window and said, "doctor" then "better" the whole way to the ped's office.
Once there, Henry was in a great mood and his nose stopped running. Of course. We waited 20 minutes then the subsitute doctor (since our pediatrician was booked) said, "What unusually small ear canals you have young man." So he dug out a long Q-tip and tried clearing Henry's glue-like ear wax from one ear. No luck. Just Henry screaming. So then he pulled out a small metal hook that looks like what the dentist uses to scrape in your molars, and tried to the get the wax out with THAT. No luck again. He commented again on how small the ear canals were. So then he called the nurse in who said, "My, what small ear canals he has." Geez. They decided they should "flush" this wax out with water.
The nurse left to get this little machine with this little plastic wand that is hooked with a hole at the end. She filled the bucket with water, plugged it in and stuck the wand in Henry's ear. I have to cradle him with his head hanging off the side of my lap while she streams water in his ear and the machine rattles like an oil-less air compressor. She said the wax should either float out in chunks or flakes. Whatever. This was ridiculous. After an hour of flushing both ears, soaking the exam table and floor and my pants and Henry's hair, taking a break to feed Svea who sat like an angel in her car seat the whole time thank goodness, we gave up.
The doctor came back in, looked in his right ear and commented on the smallness of the canal. I said, "Good grief is he ABNORMAL?" to which he smiled and replied, "Well..."
So I asked if it would affect his hearing and he said no, but that he couldn't tell if there was an infection because there was still too much wax. Then he looked in the left ear and said he couldn't tell if there was an infection because there was too much water. I can't believe I didn't punch him.
Based on how long Henry had been congested, the doc decided he would go on and treat him for an infection. Off we went to the car to go get the antibiotic and I get Henry all strapped in, and take Svea around in her carrier to pop her in base. Some stupid MINIVAN has parked 4 inches from my car so that I not only can't fit the carseat between the two cars, I can't even open the door.
I totally pull a Britney Spears and put Svea in the front seat, holding her steady with my right hand while I drive to another strip of empty parking spots so I can get BACK out and pop Svea safely into her base. Instead of cussing, I just wished a long water treatment on the ears of the minivan-driver's child.
We got to the store to fill the prescription and Henry got a bouncy ball, a balloon that he popped before we got to the cashier, and special crackers. Me, I got a big bottle of Chardonnay.